We’re just too different.”Copyright Debra K. Fileta M.A., LPCForgiving and forgetting are not one in the same. Related FastStats. I know, I know… you don’t think that you’re delusional.
?” But remember what I said at the very beginning of this article—that the killer often goes unseen. Unmarried women now outnumber the married, and the idea of self-marriage or sologamy has begun to be reported. Then set aside your unmet expectations and face reality head-on,” he advises. We are SO different in so many ways. Draw a circle around your marriage, and protect it by guarding your emotions, your interactions, and the way you spend your time.Her tone of voice changed, as she tried to look on the bright side. I would bet that over-familiarity is the killer of over 80% of all marriages that end in divorce. Because it TOTALLY should be. Too easy. Too many marriages are struggling simply due to a lack of priorities- finding themselves pulled by everyone else in every which way, except toward each other. Putting someone first is an incredibly hard task because our flesh is wired to choose self.We tend to think about offensive play in marriage, forgetting that defensive strategy is just as important. The thought didn’t sit well with me.It’s time to consider where you’ve let your guard down before these sly intruders make their way in. As healthy familiarity increases, so does comfort and the quality of companionship. When we fail to realize that, we will hold on to our hurts for a very long time. This is the case … Everyone who gets married desires to be happy and "live happily ever after". “Here’s the answer: Let your OBSERVATION take precedence over your EXPECTATION. As you give love, it flows through you, fulfilling far more than your supposed needs.If you see the purpose of communicating with your marriage partner purely as negotiating how to get your needs met, you don’t understand relationship communication. Source: Derek Harvey Since that seminar which was about six years ago, Harvey has seen unmet expectations negatively effect marriages as well as all types of relationships. Until we learn how to control our minds, and the reasons our thinking brains so often work against our emotional best interests, we will remain susceptible. May God continue to give you the wisdom to recognize these patterns and to lookout for the “small stuff” by protecting, nourishing, and prioritizing your marriage.Why is a small lie just as dangerous as a big lie? Removing one link, or ten links does the same thing- it causes separation. And to learn, along the way, who your partner really is. It is special, because its purpose is to enable two people to open their hearts to each other, not just facilitate working out the details of whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher, take out the garbage, or walk the dog. From financial problems, to illness, job-loss, and grief, healthy couples allow their stress to pull them together, by relying on each other, sharing it with one another, and carrying the load together. It’s so easy to take our stress out on our spouse. Instead, they must be based on covenant mentality, “I’ll give to you no matter how much I get in return.”Many say “I do love my spouse; BUT.” Until we learn to kick our own “butts” and focus on the tasks that bring love and harmony into our lives, we’ll continue to miss the point—and the joy—of life, love, and marriage.Very good points – Jan and I live in 24/7 bliss working and living together (over 5 years now) under the most demanding pressures anyone could ever expect… because we don’t fall victim to these 3 and we live in the ‘present’ moment – looking at the lessons and the blessings of every moment. And, further, couples who made faces (like eye rolling or sneering) when their partner was speaking were likely to be separated within four years. Honesty in marriage is like the chain that holds you together. YEAH RIGHT. Many people in troubled marriages think, “My spouse and I have trouble communicating,” while what they really mean is, “I can’t get my spouse to listen to me and do things my way!” Well, that’s not a communication problem. But forgiveness is not about excusing the other person, it’s about freeing ourselves to receive healing from the God who forgives us time and time and time again.The number one relationship stress for most couples has little to do with their relationship and much to do with the relationships they are surrounded by. We can get into the habit of holding things … The President of Family Booster Ministries International, Pastor Bisi Adewale while ministering at Breakthrough for Singles and Married, spoke about the number one killer of marriages. It took a few tries to even comment. Why are so many couples bored, unhappy, unsatisfied, separated or getting divorced?
Why are all these very good and necessary? It’s a life problem.”Are we the only ones that think this should be required reading for when you apply for a marriage license?
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